Mimireille (mireille_mimi) wrote,

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These last couple of days have been horribly unproductive. It feels so strange. I have nothing to do. I am not running around to a million different places, worrying about studies, deadlines, etc. Sure, it's wonderful to relax and have fun...but it's going to drive me crazy. And it's only been what, about 5 days? All I've done is sit around the house, sleep, play Metal Gear, UT, talk on aim, watch tv, blah blah. It's awful! I NEED something to do! I mean besides starting summer reading and studying for the SAT *shudder*. Atleast this should be the last time I have to take the thing.

I really want to work at the restaurant, but my mom seems quite against the idea. I want to feel useful! o.o You know, I actually kind of enjoyed it when my parents were in Cozumel for a couple of days. I was taking care of myself and all I had to do, and taking care of my grandparents and brother. Sure, I still wasn't completely independent (what with all the questions and constant worries), and I didn't even do a good job at all. But I really felt like I was *DO*ing something. Yeah, I acted like I was mad at my brother when he refused to do anything and I was basically doing everything for him. But, truthfully, I enjoyed it. I felt needed (even though he could have done everything himself if he wanted to)...
I'll have another chance soon. 8 weeks alone, far from home. I'm a little bit nervous, but it's about time I got away from home, from my family, from people I know well, who I know care about me. Not because I don't want to be with them, but because I need to get out and see new places, and hopefully learn to be a little more social. The great thing is, over there, no one knows me. No one knows how I usually am; my image. I'm hoping to just be myself there. Hate me, love me, it doesn't matter. In any case, it should be a good experience, yes?

So this morning, my mom randomly walks into my room angry...and says, "you know, you ARE NOT going to that anime convention". *twitch* how can she just change her mind like this!??! I already told Richard that I was going to stay at the hotel saturday night. I can't just change that now! Couldn't she have told me NO sooner? Supposedly, 'tis because I don't know the people that are going well enough...
She was interrogating me about how much I knew about each one of them, and unfortunatley, I knew not very much at all.

*sigh* I was so excited about it...and now, there's basically no hope. what to do, what to do. How do I just change something like this, so last minute. (well, last couple of days anyway).

ugh...better talk to richard T_T
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